Brush Your Teeth Correctly, For Goodness’ Sake!

As a dentist, I’m often asked the question, “Am I brushing my teeth correctly?” To which I often answer; “Which of your remaining three teeth are you particularly concerned about?”

If you have all of your own teeth, as opposed to a set of dentures with a bona fide receipt, and no fillings; then yes. Yes you are. Well done, you. Gold stars all round.

If circumstances dictate that you have gaps, fillings and/or bleeding gums, then probably not.

The most appropriate epithet I can apply to this situation is, “Sort your railings out!” – Allow me to explain. In the past, you’ll probably have been told by a dentist, hygienist, orthodontist, philosopher, gangster rapper, fortune teller, or bloke down the pub (that isn’t me) that you should “brush in a circular motion, massaging the gums, blah blah blah…”

Now, imagine you’re painting a set of railings – or a wooden fence. I’ll tell you one thing for nothing; if I was the foreman supervising you painting said fence posts in a circular motion with a massaging action, I’d first of all give you a bollocking for missing the gaps in between the posts, and I’d follow it up by sacking you on the spot, then dealing with the Employment Services Tribunal later.

Never brush your railings – or your teeth – side to side, as you’ll miss the gaps, where loads of bacterial crap gets in. Always brush up and down – never side to side!

While we’re at it, make sure you ride that brush well over the gums. Seriously. Teeth have a smooth surface; kind of like a well-finished roof. But after 3 bags of Monster Munch, great big lumps of sticky, gluey carb are going to settle into the gums, like the gutters of the oral cavity. If you leave it to settle in and build up, that roof won’t stay up forever. Keep those gutters clean, however, and the roof will look after itself.

It’s not that difficult. Honestly.

This blog post is (definitely not) sponsored by Wickes fence post painting and roof tiling services – mainly because B&Q came up with a better offer. Seriously, though, they didn’t.

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